Dribs and drabs of news coming out of La Manga, Spain. Most of it's boring. And so, yet again, I have decided to bring you The True Story, as seen in official La Manga headlines. (No, really. I swear.)

First, Osvaldo Alonso put Nair in Fredy Montero's shampoo bottle:

"The hair in Spain goes mainly down the drain"

Then Fredy refused to go out in public without his hair. Sigi and Adrian desperately worked to find a fix, and arranged for delivery by HST:

"Rogaine in Spain is brought to Fred by train"

And then, in an event that will be a discussion topic for meteorologists for decades, some kind of chemical and magnetic and atmospheric interaction caused precipitation to occur only on Fredy's newly-grown hair:

"The rain in Spain falls just on Fredy's mane"

And then Ozzie got sent back to Seattle for creating havoc:

"Make pain in Spain? Get sent home on the plane"

And that's what's happening in La Manga. I swear.

(What, that's not enough? I could continue, you know...)