Absolutely not Sounders related.
Unless someone is a minecraft player and can figure out the schematics to build one of these in real life.
The internet is going to be the reason I don't find a job when I graduate.
*Edit: Seriously, we could just
scrumptiously (DYAC) surreptitiously place it under the goal in front of ECS, and when Joe Cannon steps into the right spot, we could launch him into the Hawk's Nest, where no one will ever go up to retrieve him.