Date With The Pain Machine

by Pain_Machine on Sep 22, 2011 9:44 AM PDT

@Pain_Machine's giving away two pairs of tickets to the Open Cup Final (10/4 7pm), and there are two ways to win. Read on for details...

Contest the First: Sparkles, The Man, The Legend

The first pair of tickets will be awarded to whomever tweets the best example of how Jeff "Sparkles" Parke is intensitive. What's intensitive? It's the very core of Sparkles' essence. It's the yin and the yang of great defense. It's intense. It's sensitive. It's intensitive. Be sure to use the hashtag #INTENSITIVE so the judges can find your entry.

Contest the Second: Let's Get Intensitive

Tweet a picture of you being your most intensitive. Remember that intensitivity isn't merely being intense, nor is it only demonstrating sensitivity. It's a balance. Bonus points if you're wearing Sounders gear. And for the love of beggin' strips, don't actually endanger yourself. Be sure to use the hashtag #INTENSITIVE so the judges can find your entry.

There is no limit to the number of entries. Winners in each contest will be selected by a panel of judges and will be announced the night of 9/30. In order to win, you must be able to pick up the tickets near the stadium 90 minutes before the game, respond to the winning message within 24 hours, and have a valid ID that's issued by any state besides Oregon or Illinois. If you're from Vancouver, WA, you'd better be wearing some Sounders colors when you pick up the tickets. The winner also needs to be following @Pain_Machine on twitter to be able to receive the congratulatory DM... after the contest is concluded it's recommended that you immediately unfollow.