I saw one of these made for the Seahawks, so I decided that a Sounders-related anagrams post would be fun. I took all the names from the first team roster, dumped them into an anagram generator, and looked for good matches. So, without further ado, here are your 2013 Seattle Sounders anagrams:
Osvaldo Alonso - Sans All Voodoo
He doesn't care about what magic you try to perform to get away, because it's not happening.
Will Bates - Libel Swat
Lacking playing times, Will is pursuing a degree with the aim of becoming a top lawyer.
Marc Burch - Curb Charm
I'm guessing this is a different kind of street smarts based almost entirely on his hair.
Alex Caskey - Lace Sex Yak
You'll have to ask him about this one, because I'm not going to pry.
Clint Dempsey - Simply Decent
What everyone is calling him now that he's a Sounder and they have to hate him.
David Estrada - Advise Add Tar
I assume this is a tip opposing defenders receive when they ask how the hell to stop him from running all over the place.
Brad Evans - Brand Save
What his job at right back has helped Klinsmann do to the USMNT?
Josh Ford - Fjords, Ho!
Is he following Bryan Meredith to Scandinavia?
Blair Gavin - Vaginal Rib
Yeah... um... well... hmm.
Leonardo Gonzalez - All Danger Zone Zoo
Such a good defender that he is called upon to protect the public from the most dangerous animals in the world!
Michael Gspurning - Clinging Arse Hump
I... hope you all feel the same way that I do when he makes a game-saving stop?
Marcus Hahnemann - Anus Ram Henchman
I guess Marcus feels that way, too...
Jhon Kennedy Hurtado - Thorny Naked Judo Hen
A Robbie Keane Irishism describing JKH after the LA game.
Patrick Ianni - Rain Panic Kit
Open in case of emergency rain to defend lead.
Eddie Johnson - Jedi Nod Shone
"Eddie's Jedi Nod shone when that Mauro Rosales cross hit his head."
Shalrie Joseph - Jeep Slosh Hair
That would explain the hair.
Philip Lund - Pill Up Hind
I really hope he hasn't had to do that while being injured.
Obafemi Martins - I Am Ransom Befit
Because Levante definitely held him for ransom!
Adam Moffat - Fat Foam Dam
I can only assume this is the visual effect of what happens when opponents try to get past him.
Fredy Montero - Remedy For Ton
Hey Sporting CP, hey Roma, can we interest you in Fredy Montero's Amazing Elixir? Goals are guaranteed!
Lamar Neagle - Ale Lager Man
He's not picky.
Dylan Remick - Dreamy Clink
Remick and the Sounders was destiny, obviously.
Mauro Rosales - Amass Our Lore
Keep setting records and winning trophies, my captain.
Andy Rose - Deny Soar
What his air game does to the opponents.
Zach Scott - no anagrams
Zach Scott marked all the anagrams of his name out of existence.
Djimi Traore - Jedi Riot Arm
This sounds like some sort of awesome special power that keeps balls out of the goal. Without handball, of course.
DeAndre Yedlin - Derail, Deny, End
What he does to scoring chances when opponents try through balls.
Steve Zakuani - Suave Zeta Ink
Maybe Zak has a tattoo of the Greek alphabet somewhere?
Eriq Zavaleta - Zeal At Rave Qi
Eriq, you have a hell of a name for anagrams, but it has the word rave, so good enough.
Feel free to add your own alternate anagrams below!