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More Male Bonding: The Sounders Guys do a Preseason Trip, and This is How it Plays Out

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Airport signs - Departures areaWe all know by now the results of The Camping Trip, right?

(If your answer is no, be sure to click on the link. This post requires prior knowledge.)

But there are still things for the guys to accomplish. Issues to hash out. Bonding to do. And so I believe the team -- the whole gang -- will be going on another trip.

Where to, you ask?

Ah, this is a deep, dark, stalker-protection secret. But what's not a secret is how the pre-trip meeting at SeaTac will go. Something like this, I believe:


Keller: Okay, time to get moving. Are we all here? Taylor? Where's Taylor Graham?

Evans: Taylor's not here. Ljungberg ran over his foot with the Range Rover. Broken metatarsal. Out for the season.

Keller: Freddie? What the hell?

Ljungberg: Yeah, sorry. It's just that...in a certain light he looked a little like Arsene.

Keller: Fine. Moving on. How about Steve? Anybody seen Zakuani?

Jaqua: He should be here. He was right behind me.

Zakuani (out of breath): Yeah! (pant, pant) I'm here! (pant, pant). Sorry! Missed the exit!

Jaqua: Missed the exit? How the hell could you miss it? It was right in front of you!!

Zakuani: I went wide! It happens! It's temporary! STOP JUDGING ME!!!!!!

[Long silence.]

Zakuani: Um...can I have a window seat?

Levesque: Hey guys! I just got a letter from Le Toux! He says:

Hello, Roger! Greeting from Philadelphia. Seattle is much missed, but it is nice here. One thing, though. They tell me I must eat a sandwich call the "Cheesesteak"? It is made with the cheese from the can. They say it is "gourmet"? Can you tell me, is "gourmet" a word like "formidable" which mean something very different in English?

Answer soon. I am run out of the excuse.

Regards,

Seba

Marshall: Whoa. Dude. What's Seba doing in Philly?

Keller: Uh...expansion draft? Hello?

Marshall: Seriously? I thought they were taking Riley.

Riley: Yo. Tyrone? Riley. Right here.

Marshall: Whoa. Sorry, been down in LA with Donovan Ricketts. Dude was right, too. Take it from the Jamaicans, that Herbalife is some serious good s***. I still can't feel my left foot.

Montero: Hey! I can't feel my left foot either!

Ljungberg: That explains a lot.

Montero: Geez, Freddie, what's with the bitter? I thought we worked this out on Mt. Rainier. I thought we were friends. I thought we bonded.

Ljungberg: We would have bonded if you'd learned to pass me the freaking ball. I should have finished you off with Kum Ba Yah when I had the chance.

Montero: But...but... I'm the team's leading scorer! I'm ready for Europe! I don't need to pass!

Ljungberg: *Sigh.* Kasey, are there bears where we're going? Because I may need to purchase a salmon.

Keller: No bears, sorry, Freddie. Sharks, though. Lots of sharks.

Ljungberg: Ah. Well, then. This trip could be more fun that I thought.

Keller: All right, Freddie! There's that team spirit!

Ljungberg: Hey, is it too late to invite some referees?