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Five Ways to Avoid Sounder Withdrawal

Are you feeling groggy and slower than usual? Do you lack the energy to get out of bed in the morning? Are your eyes red and irritated? Do you feel empty and unfulfilled?

Good news, you don't have swine flu. Instead, these are all signs of another equally serious condition: Seattle Sounder Soccer Withdrawal. Medical specialists point out that although SSSW is not life-threatening, it can have serious mental health consequences.

We here at the Seattle Offside talked to a board of the city's top health professionals and came up with the following tips to avoid this debilitating and prevalent condition:

5. Watch replays
on MLSnet... For only $19.95 a year you can watch any game live or on replay. That is if you have the patience to install 4200 plug-ins and then figure out how to use the worst streaming video player ever....

4. Go on a reverse diet to try to look more like minority owner and all around Sounders number one fan Drew Carey.

3. Play pick up soccer. There is always plenty in Seattle. Try Green Lake right next to the basketball courts, the IMA at the University of Washington (free parking on Sundays), Bobby Morris on Capitol Hill after 6:00PM, or West Queen Anne Playfield on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at noon.

2. Download the Sounders patch for FIFA 2009 on your Xbox 360. What better way to get rid of the rave green blues than by pretending to be Freddie.

And the number one way to fight Sounder withdrawal:

1. Take a road trip:
Just because there are not any regular season games, doesn't mean there are no games. In fact, the Sounders travel to Portland on July 1 to take on the Portland Timbers, a huge rival from the USL days in a city that will soon have a MLS team of their own. The game comes in the third round of the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup and the winner moves on to the quarterfinals.

Game starts at 7:00 PM, PT at PGE Park. You can watch the game on line at USL Live

You should too... who wouldn't want to make fun of this guy:

These methods for avoiding Sounder withdrawal are recommended only for short-term periods without Seattle Sounders soccer. The author of this blog no way endorses using these methods to combat SSSW in the off season. SSSW is a serious condition and highly contagious. Please stay away from family and friends when experiencing SSSW. If symptoms persist after the Sounders have resumed playing see your local physician immediately.

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