clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The Oddest of Sounders-Related Odds and Ends

New, 5 comments

I know I should probably write about the all-import Chivas game on Saturday, but it's been a really long week and I don't feel like it.

So instead I'd like you to think back to when you were about six. You know? When there was this kid you could convince to drink anything? It was like, "Okay, how about ground up dog food! And Dr. Pepper! And...and...and crayons!"

In the blogging world, I am apparently that kid. My fellow Sounders bloggers will occasionally send me links to the things they don't quite know what to do with and say, "Hey! Laurie! What do you make of this?" And up until this point, I've been able to do handle them.

This one, however?

Well, when it's an article that talks about not just Sounders but How to Use Your Sex Parts (all possibilities discussed) plus How to Speak about Arty Things and How to Support Music Even Though You Steal it by Illegal Downloads, and many, many other things that I actually don't even like to think about, let alone write about...

And then, all of a sudden, out of the blue, it gets to a Sounders paragraph:


How to Be a Soccer Fan

The star of the Sounders, Seattle's new major-league soccer team, is Freddie Ljungberg, a Swedish underwear model who likes to lose his temper at refs and sometimes gets banned from games for it (he says the refs in Europe take it better). Then there's the "other Fredy"—22-year-old Colombian forward Fredy Montero, whose bursts of brilliance make up for his frustrating inconsistency (also: nice butt). The local genius on the team is Kasey Keller, a steady, serious, unfuckwithable presence on the field, even though he's confined to the goalkeeper's box. And the guy with the best biography is Osvaldo Alonso, a Cuban defector who walked away from his Cuban team in a Wal-Mart in Texas a couple years ago and never looked back. It's a great fucking team—playing an old, simple, sexy game. For reasons no one's really figured out, the Sounders have higher average attendance at home games than any other team in American major-league soccer. They play at Qwest Field. You can get tickets at www.soundersfc.com. Wear green.

So...um...yeah. About this article? Basically?

Okay, so sure, I may have once devoted an entire post to the fact that I do NOT write about Pete Vagenas' groin, and another implying that David Beckham's joy at being back in Europe comes from the fact that the Europeans fondle his chest. But when it comes to this article?

I am
A) over my head and
B) way too damn old to be reading The Stranger.

What this mean is... I'm done now.

(Thanks, David, for thinking of me. Yeah. Thanks a lot.)