Former Sounders Servando Carrasco & Alex Morgan get Engaged

First of all, hats off and congratulations to Servando Carrasco and Alex Morgan. If you hadn't heard, the former Seattle power-couple have recently become engaged to one another. Mired in obscurity in faraway, unknown locales called Houston and Portland* (two cities I couldn't even find on a map), these two love-birds have committed themselves to each other until death parts them. So mazel tov!

* The city of Houston was named after a mortal, Sam Houston, who, I dunno, hunted big game for sport. I didn't bother looking it up. Whereas the city of Portland was named thusly because it has ports? On land? Aren't ports supposed to be in water? So shouldn't the city be named Portwater?

But this feeling that I feels, it's a pain inside, a welled up ball of angst and disappointment. This news has left my life a barren landscape of loneliness. Sure Servando Carrasco is a gentleman deserving of the love and affection of a wonderful woman. And surely too, by extension, the lovely Alex Morgan complements a fine match. But this rationality brings me no solace. However will I mend this broken heart of mine?

I first head of Alex Morgan in November of 2010, when as an 86th minute substitute, she scored a goal to secure a 1-0 victory against Italy in the first leg of a playoff to qualify for the final spot in the Women's World Cup. I saw a tagline on Yahoo! and I saw her picture. What a true American hero! I was smitten. Since then her fame has skyrocketed, and now she is a star, mostly due to the fact that she played for the Seattle Sounders.

When I first heard of Servando Carrasco, a couple months later in January 2011, he was drafted by the Seattle Sounders. Immediately I was a big fan of this man, as I do am wont to do with all Sounders. His hustle and brutality was right up my alley, but over the years he developed into a productive player on the pitch. The trade which sent him to the barbaric death-ring known as Houston saddened me deeply. But I still root for him, because I'm not heartless.

Though now, at this moment, I almost wish I was heartless. The feels!

Here are a few songs to help get all of us through these trying times.

R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts (via Floyd2142)

En Vogue - My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It) (1992) (via Neka lovmytwo)

Patsy Cline I Fall to Pieces (via imhalfnutz)

Nazareth - Love Hurts (via WaveMusicClassics)

Celine Dion - Where does my heart beat now (via CelineFascinated)

Toni Braxton - Un-Break My Heart (via ToniBraxtonVEVO)

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You (via whitneyhoustonVEVO)

Okay, phew, that helped to make me feel a little bit better. Not all hope is lost. I once saw in a movie called Love Actually, before Rick Grimes was killing zombies in and around Atlanta, his unrequited love toward that pirate woman lady Johnny Depp crushed on caused him to take drastic measures. And it worked. Kinda. They kissed. Which is like 2nd base. Or maybe it's first. I dunno. Cooties are real. But have faith, my fellow heart-broken friends.

Cue Cards Love Actually (via mutantkingjd)