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MLS Gamethread: Week Eight

I'm ashamed that no one noticed my week counting has been off

United? Or Unionited?
United? Or Unionited?
Al Messerschmidt

So it turns out I've been a week behind on my post titles for these MLS Gamethreads. and no one bothered to point that out to me. Heads should roll, but I'll let it slip this time. MLSsoccer's staff isn't expecting Seattle to break out of their slump this week, but that's not what this post is about.

Toronto FC - Houston Dynamo (TSN)
Houston is still, in my eyes, the best team in the league. Even when they aren't setting records for points at home, they're still a dangerous team. Toronto is playing better with Winter gone, but Houston shouldn't have a problem thawing the cold Canadian tundra.
Prediction: 1-2
Actual: 1-1

New York Red Bulls - New England Revolution
The Red Bulls and Revolution supporters will walk to the stadium together in solidarity after the events of this week. It's unknown whether Matt Reis will play in the game after his father-in-law was injured during the Boston Marathon attacks, but emotions should be high in New York. Look for the Revolution to take home a win.
Prediction: 0-2
Actual: 4-1

FC Dallas - Vancouver Whitecaps
From what I hear, Texas is relatively mild right now (at least temperature-wise). They may not immediately melt the caps off Vancouver's crest, but conference-leading Dallas should be the favorite behind their 11 goals scored.
Prediction: 1-0
Actual: 2-0

Chicago Fire - Columbus Crew
The Crew haven't won in Chicago for seven years. If they're going to change history, now is as good a time as any. Look for Oduro and Higuain to run rampant on a Chicago defense that has allowed 12 goals in their short season.
Prediction: 0-3
Actual: 1-0

Real Salt Lake - Chivas USA
Chivas continues its surprising start to the season despite a loss last week to Colorado. Perhaps there was something to having a team comprised nearly entirely of Mexicans? Probably not, but ask again in 10 weeks. Salt Lake, like Seattle, hasn't found their form yet, but it's never easy to win in the mountains.
Prediction: 1-1
Actual: 1-0

LA Galaxy - Sporting KC (NBCSN)
Arlo won't be calling MLS matches nearly as frequently once this fall rolls around, so we have to treasure him while we still can. Even if that means watching the team that knocked us out of the Open Cup Final beat the team that trounced us in the first leg of the Conference final last season. Perhaps LA's mystery new DP will appear without warning.
Prediction: 1-2
Actual: 2-1


DC United - Philadelphia Union (ESPN2)
This is the one everyone has been waiting for: The UNI rivalry. When Unions and Uniteds face off, robots can't compute, mathematicians divide by zero, Jersey Shore cast members do classy things, and dogs become cats. Only one of these teams has a recent history of goals (Philly) but the Dwayne-Chris United (see what I did there?) attack won't be stifled forever. Whoever didn't put this game on UNImas seriously dropped the ball.
Prediction: 1-1

San Jose Earthquakes - Portland Timbers (UniMas)
Hrm, this can't be right. I specifically remember writing up this preview last week. There's no way the league would make two teams play each other in successive weeks. Unless... oh no... I'm stuck in Groundhog Day! Someone find me Andie MacDowell! I need to sleep with her to break the loop!
Prediction: 2-1

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