Put this file into the "Natural" folder. Just like the fictional ballplayer that knocked out all the lights with a game-winning home run, the Crew have
litera FIGURATIVELY lit the scoreboard on fire, delaying the game for about an hour. Risking further damage to property, the Crew went on to burn the countryside on the way to a 3-0 win. If they keep scoring like this, maybe Frederico Higuain's vision of MLS in Copa Libertadores will come true.
FC Dallas are far from the only club in the league dealing with key injuries early this season, but they may soon start showing the results of said injuries on the field after two big ones went down this weekend.. It's been so bad that some have taken to calling them "Brett Buckley".
Indianapolis has revealed their branding for the coming season, and the result is perhaps the best crest in American soccer (perhaps a smidgen behind Chicago). Red, white and blue has been done to death, but the name of the team is classic. I would be honored to see this club in MLS some day, and that's just based on their LOGO (the creator of which also made his own fictional but awesome American soccer league with a whopping 60 teams!) I had something for this...
Speaking of joining MLS, Atlanta (Made in Georgia) is making their pitch, though it wouldn't be a second before 2017. If Orlando doesn't work out for whatever reason, Atlanta has the population and soccer history to be a worthy candidate (though their fully indoor stadium could cause some problems). Atlanta has been involved in talks with MLS though, so we should be prepared for some sort of ruse.
A Public Polling Policy Poll (PPP) has found that when it comes to Seattle, the rest of the country is in the Danger Zone. By which I mean they all have a hot crush on our fair city. Portland (generously classified as a "city") placed second.
Thank you to The Onion for keeping us up to date on the status of MLS, or something. Who am I, Doyle Redland, fictional newsreader for The Onion? At least they threw us a bone on that short-lived sports show.
Finally, some collegiate sports (namely Football and Basketball) are big money makers for big schools, but can be a financial burden for others. So this year, one college took the step to leave the NCAA and eliminate over a million dollars that would otherwise go to archery and swimming and put that towards physical fitness and wellness.