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MLS Gamethread: Week 21

There are no national games this week. You'll still find ways to watch.

Expect acting.
Expect acting.
Anne-Marie Sorvin-US PRESSWIRE

Strangely, there are no nationally televised games this weekend. So for those of you without MLS Live, you are SOL today. You're going to have to tune in here to find out what's going on with some excellent matchups, like Salt Lake vs Kansas City. The early matches overlap with the Sounders, but we'll get it figured out.


Toronto FC-New York Red Bulls
Instead of telling you why the Red Bulls are going to win this match, here is a Wikipedia summary on Cordyceps, the most terrifying of fungi:
When a Cordyceps fungus attacks a host, the mycelium invades and eventually replaces the host tissue, while the elongated fruiting body (ascocarp) may be cylindrical, branched, or of complex shape. Some current and former Cordyceps species are able to affect the behaviour of their insect host: Ophiocordyceps unilateralis causes ants to climb a plant and attach there before they die. This ensures the parasite's environment is at an optimal temperature and humidity, and that maximal distribution of the spores from the fruiting body that sprouts out of the dead insect is achieved.
Now that you're sufficiently terrified, you can prepare for a human Cordyceps instead of watching this game.
Prediction: NY
Ideal: TOR

Montreal Impact-FC Dallas
It has been a rough month for these two teams. Only a few weeks ago they were running away with their respective divisions, but now each have fallen behind and out of the lead. It's the reality in a salary-capped MLS, and neither team can score consistently right now. If either club wants to make something of this year, they're going to need to start scoring goals again.
Prediction: MON
Ideal: Draw

Columbus Crew-New England Revolution
I still like both of these rosters, despite the fact that each team is currently sitting just outside of the fifth playoff spot in the East. Will the Crew take advantage of home field advantage and a full week of rest? Probably not. Neither team has much experience with winning this summer.
Prediction: Draw
Ideal: Draw

Philadelphia Union-Portland Timbers
It's hard to pick against a team that just had a nice emotional stoppage time victory, but it's just as hard to pick against the home team in a cross country flight. The Timbers got a great victory at home against the Galaxy, and they'll need that home energy to translate on the road.
Prediction: Union
Ideal: Draw

Chicago Fire-DC United
The Chicago Magees are a much better team than that other Chicago team was earlier in the year, and losing the last two matches isn't likely to put their flame out. Their defense still might not be great, but they are up against a club that scores about as often as congress passes a bill.
Prediction: Fire
Ideal: United

Real Salt Lake-Sporting KC (Game of the Week)
Can't go wrong with two division leaders facing off in the mountains. A Salt Lake victory would put them at 40 points, and would make them a pretty sure thing for playoffs this season. If you at all can, watch this match. It should be as good an example of beautiful soccer as we'll get in MLS this season.

LA Galaxy-Vancouver Whitecaps
Expect a lot of bad acting in this battle of the Hollywoods. Robbie Keane will do his best impression of a gunshot wound, Camilo will star in "The High Dive", and Landon Donovan will channel his inner Robert De Niro whenever he disagrees with a call. The match may even be up for an Oscar next year,

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