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Sounders v Union - Aftermatch Aftermath: An Uncivil Union

The game in which Seattle defeated Philadelphia in a rainstorm by being better than the Union with their superior talents and mental faculties.

After their third failed attempt at a high five, they eventually gave up.
After their third failed attempt at a high five, they eventually gave up.

The ditch is nearer.

There are no statues for the last war here;

on Boylston Street, a commercial photograph

shows Hiroshima boiling

excerpt from For the Union Dead – Robert Lowell

If a long time ago and in a galaxy far, far away, we were able to ask Admiral Ackbar a question about his thoughts regarding the potential of Saturday's match between Seattle Sounders and Philadelphia Union, the Admiral would probably say that it's a tricky game. The national narrative saw the high-flying Sounders seemingly heavy favorites over the what perceived to be bumbling Union. But much like our own sidereal pointed out, Ackbar would have recognized that the Union is a good team, plagued by a bout of unluck. Would this be the game a confident Seattle team underestimated a seriously unlucky team and were hit upon the head with the vicious hook of regression?

Who cares! Seattle won. Trap game my ass. It wasn't always pretty, and there were no guarantees of victory, but for the fourth time in five games the Sounders were losing early only to come back and earn some points. In the business we call that having resolve. Or nerves of steel, which doesn't really make much sense as an idiom if you really dissect it.

But let's think about it. Down 2-1 and 4-2 to Portland Timbers – Final 4-4 (1 point). Down 1-0 and 2-1 to FC Dallas – Final 3-2 (3 points). Down 1-0 to Chivas USA – Final 2-1 (3 points). Down 1-0 to Philadelphia – Final 2-1 (3 points). That's 10 points Seattle has earned through fighting back from adversity, on the road, in monsoons, or in the nuclear wasteland known as Portland. 19 points after 9 games look markedly better than 9 points after 9 games, or even 8 points after 9 games.

Let's make like a con artist and Bull**it

  • I watched this game live in a hotel room in a land far, far away where the Sounders game was not broadcast on television. I was nervous that I might not be able to watch the game, which would be unfortunate. However, Seattle was MLS Stream of the Week. I now vow to vote for Seattle to be SotW every chance I get, so that any other intrepid traveler or non-local fan can have the opportunity to watch the Sounders live. Is that fair to the other teams that Seattle bogarts the stream? Do I look like I care? Oh, you can't see me, so I'll tell you: No, no it doesn't look like I care.

  • There's something to be said about having Marco Pappa, Clint Dempsey, and Obafemi Martins on the pitch at the same time. Having three players who can play intricate one-touch passes and take on multiple defenders and escape with the ball is very dangerous in the attack. Whenever the three of them are on the pitch together, Seattle is an extremely dangerous attacking team.

  • I hope the injury suffered by Dylan Remick isn't serious. For the sequence of events leading up to his substitution, he was favoring his leg, skipping more than running, and then sat down when the ball went out of play. I don't think it was as non-contact as Fletcher and Keller were saying, instead just ill-effects from the knock he took early in the first half.

  • Chad Marshall had 5 blocked shots, some of which would've been very threatening had he not blocked them. Then he had to go and score the game winner in the 84th minute. The man is a beast and I can't extoll his virtues often enough. Yet he always has this discolored wet spot right on his chest. I always just figured it was copious amounts of sweat, but after seeing the same discoloration through his rain-soaked kit, maybe it's Vicks Vapor rub? Whatever it is, I still have that damn Whitney Houston stuck in my head thanks to this tweet:

  • In the 29th minute Oba was running loose in Philadelphia's box. Goalkeeper Zac MacMath made an interesting decision to attempt to grab the ball from around Oba. So he reached around Oba's tree-trunks and tried to wrest the ball from the Nigerian. The thing is it didn't really work. Oba got positioning first and what happened instead was MacMath just whiffed on grabbing the ball and undercut Oba instead. I don't see how that isn't a penalty. Even if you contend MacMath got contact with the ball before contact with Oba, he proceeded to tackle an opponent in the box, which I'm sure is against some rules.

How about some Sheanon Williams shoves to take us home

  • No tiebreakers needed. Seattle stands alone atop the standings.

  • Kasey Keller quote,"I'm not a huge person that's going to criticize." Riiiiiiight.

  • So far in the 2014 MLS Regular Season, Seattle hasn't given up a goal with Brad Evans at LB.

  • Seattle has picked up 9 of 12 available points in games where they concede the first goal.

  • Dempsey got a haircut and didn't register a goal or an assist for the first time this season. Is the power in his hair?

  • Seattle has now scored at least two goals in 6 of their 9 matches and are 1-2-0 in games when they score one or fewer goals.

  • Not a big fan of whoever decided to let off a smoke bomb or flare or massive firework-display after the Chad Marshall goal. We're better than that.

  • Pappa, Evans, Neagle, Pappa, Alonso, Yedlin, Pineda, Dempsey, Alonso, Evans, Pappa, Pineda, deflection/clearance, Evans, Martins. That was the sequence that lead to Seattle's first goal.

It's my birthday and I'll GIF if I want to

It's gametime bitches!


Nobody fears Philadelphia.


So, it's kind of uhhh rainy, isn't it?


No big deal, we got thi... ah shit.


Yes! A penalty kick!


No! A penalty miss!


Oh! An Oba goal! We caught you fools napping.


And a Chad Marshall goal?!


Philly did not see that coming.


Did ya want that point, Union? Yeah? Did ya?


Too fuckin' bad!


We want all the chicken!


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