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Sounders v Colorado - Aftermatch Aftermath: Goalie Cop

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Saturday's match between the Seattle Sounders and Colorado Rapids featured a goalie who was a cop but who now is a goalie. Performing for the first time in MLS, we bring you Joe Nasco - Goalie Cop. Also the Sounders won.

Marc Burch's hair watches Buddle and Evans touch tips
Marc Burch's hair watches Buddle and Evans touch tips
Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

The mood in the city was foul. You could feel the tension in the air. Tempers were as dark and foreboding as the clouds above. Just keep your head down, Joe, and do your job. I'd had a job in this city before, once, some years ago. The only thing I remember was how inhospitable the place was. That and going home empty handed. The memory of it stung bitter on the back of my tongue. Tasted like bile. Hopefully this new job would be my ticket to move on, to forget the past. A man can dream.

I used to be a hero. A hero cop, they called me, Goalie Cop Joe Nasco. But I ain't a cop no more. I turned in my badge and my gun. Feels like a lifetime ago. C'mon, Joe, time to focus. Can't dwell on the past like that or the present will pass you by. This was shaping up to be the toughest assignment I got since I quit the force.

You ever been in that situation where you know you gotta do something even though it's gonna hurt like a bum knee on a cold day, but you gotta do it anyway and you get that feeling in your gut you just can't shake? That's what I got. There's only so much courage a neat whiskey can give a man before he's just gotta get out there and face what he's got coming.

And this case of mine, it's a doozy. Rumors of some real big heavy hitters lining up to take their shots at me. I don't mind the pressure, just part of the job. Water's warm, might as well swim.

Sure enough, just like I knew they would, they brought out the big guns. They never let up. It should have been a slaughter. It felt like one, and I've got the bruises to prove it. I had hoped for backup, but they left me up a creek, high and dry. That's okay though, Joe Nasco never had need for nobody except for Joe Nasco.

It was some Texas gunslinger that did me in. A right fancy boy, trained in London like one of them high society types. Real skillful like, had to have seen it to believe it. Sad to say I saw it, and these eyes, they don't lie. Second time in this city, second time I go home empty handed. Nobody respects an old cop anymore. Damn.

I feel the need - the need for gifs

Colorado's coming to town. Wonder if we'll see any spectacular somersaults two weeks in a row.

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You think a little rain is gonna stop the Sounders?

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Certainly won't stop Clint and Oba.

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Oh my glob, Sounders, just shoot the ball!

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Feels like we should have a goal by now.

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Both teams are chasing the game here.

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Oh my word! What a goal!

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Amazing! It came out of nowhere!

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Time to ride it out, maybe score a few more.

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C'mon, just win it, okay? This is reminding me of that lame San Jose game.

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Win! Take that, Colorado.

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Bam. First place! We're really taking off now.

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I like this victory feeling.

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Hope you're ready for our sick moves, Chivas.

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