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Sounders v Chivas - Aftermatch Aftermath: Hydras versus Robots

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Deep in the Western lands, a match pitted the juggernaut Sounders of Seattle against the minnows Chivas of USA. Word has traveled that the minnows lost, but put on a good fight for a couple minutes. Like, about 18 minutes to be exact.

That's concentrated goodness coming out of Yedlin
That's concentrated goodness coming out of Yedlin
Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

As we all expected, the prophecy was right. It foretold of a mighty force from the north and west, sheltered by a great Sound, that was to be invaded by a troupe from the kingdom to the far south; a troupe from a land called Chivas: undisciplined, dangerous, and harsh. It was championed by a young knight, who returned after travels to faraway lands. He returned hungry, ready, and without remorse.

The powerful northern Sounders arrived home after exploits to the far East with knowledge that soon their land would be attacked and a defensive force would need meet the impending onrush. Though tired and weary, and longing to see loved ones long since departed, they steeled themselves with great resolve.

In the dark of night, and without fanfare, the young Chivas army arrived on the gates of the Sounders. Preparations were made, and a battle was met.

It was the young knight from Chivas who struck first. It caught the more experienced from the Sounders land unawares and off guard. The young knight danced the dance of his people. Though fazed, the Northerners rallied and continued on their attack. This was not to be a successful invasion. The Southerners were doomed to fail, as foretold the prophecy.

Mere moments later, a Sounders general shouldered the burden of a nation on his sturdy frame and his attack rang true. It was a glorious maneuver which left his opponent befuddled and bewildered. He cemented his dominance with a majestic display of aerial superiority.

The young attackers from the south were intimidated, yet their young knight rallied them once more. A clever feint allowed them passage into the Sounders flanks, where the clever knight, calm and composed, recovered his allies from unsuccessful attacks and provided crucial aid to his compatriots. It was through his wiles that they were able to find purchase where it hurt the mighty Northerners most, and they struck true. It was a grievous blow.

But it did not guarantee the invaders victory. Nay, betwixt their jubilation and surprise, was the dread of defeat. They knew they were outmatched and that a long battle lay before them. Could they hold off the Northern Sounders?

No. The young Chivas invaders knew it, as did the team from the north. The Sounders believed in themselves, no matter how far a hole they were in, they could recover. The prophecy never said it would be a rout, a complete and utter destruction of an entire people and their way of life, instead that they would face adversity they did not expect, and that through sheer power of will, they would overcome.

It was a local boy who heeded the call. Risen from the ranks of his compatriots, he found his way through the invaders and dealt a blow to even the battle. And then it was turn for the two generals to further put their forces ahead for good, each finishing their chances at securing a victory for the northern Sounders.

Even before the battle was over, it was known to be finished. The Sounders had defeated Chivas. The Northerners could return to their families, secure in the knowledge that they had kept their kingdom safe, for now. For the prophecy warned of other battles, against mightier foes. Who will answer that call?

Who you gonna call? GIFbusters!

When these two teams face off, nobody knows what'll happen.

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You'd best get off our tracks, Chivas, cause a train is comin'!

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Chivas scored? Even they can't believe it happened.

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Playing against robots is hard.

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But I can't stay mad at you, Cubo.

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They just took advantage of us.

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Oh my, Oba!

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Where did your lead go, Chivas?

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Goodness, Oba is majestic.

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Chivas scored again? We're...losing?

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These goats sure are pesky.

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Chivas is surprising themselves with this lead.

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Yay! NEAgoal!

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Hey Chivas, why don't you try to secure your lead better.

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This is a close contest, to the surprise of everyone.

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Oh Dempsey, you're so smooth.

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Chivas done woke up a storm in Seattle.

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You know the Sounders are gonna win, Chivas. Do you want it to be by 10? Because they'll do it.

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Oh! Another Oba goal. Just how he drew it up.

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Now this is more like it.

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It's nice to see the Hydra again.

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Finally a win!

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We'll take those points, thank you.

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There's something about these Sounders that I just love.

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Oh, and Minda? Nice game.

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