Spokane has shown us something beautiful: Beer that comes to the people in the form of a truck. Will Yakima rent it out for a Hoppers match?
Many made note of Tyrone Mears' apparent select language during yesterday's game, harsh enough that it would make even Captain America blush.
While talking about last night's game, Matt Pentz explains how hard it can be for an expansion team with no history to be seen while the shadows of legends loom large from center field.
He may still play again earlier than CJ Sapong of the Philadelphia Union, who was arrested for DUI and Reckless Driving this weekend. Then again, these aren't the sorts of charges which keep professional athletes off the field for long. Expect a two game suspension followed by a lifetime ban when a video from a parking garage is leaked showing him fisting bottles of Glengoolie Blue, then a lawsuit in which he's reinstated to the league but no team will dare sign him.
(In seriousness though, alcoholism (like domestic abuse) is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, this hotline can help.)
Without Sapong, the Union had to rely on Eriq Zavaleta for chances on goal in their 1-0 loss to Toronto FC.
It doesn't appear that NYCFC has inspired much of a rivalry to date:
In a further wound to Portland pride, several MLS Timbers were active for Timbers 2's 2-0 loss to Orange County Blues.
LAFC will be holding a town hall meeting on May 9, presumably so their fans can start measuring the nearby levels of Chivas in the environment.
Miami residents, eager to kill the Miami Fusion revival, are bringing back the idea of having the University of Miami football team play in David Beckham's proposed soccer stadium.
The club with the great nautically-themed crest is making waves with the signing of 16 year-old Canadian striker Chaim Roserie.
By the start of the 2015 Women's World Cup, we will know the life stories of every U.S. team member through a series of videos.
Brazil has finally finished their World Cup stadiums, with only two months to spare before the one year anniversary of their World Cup. Gosh, can you imagine if they hadn't finished building their stadiums in time for such a crucial milestone?
Riots broke out in Poland after police killed a soccer fan during a pitch invasion. As always, I will refrain from making the topical comparison to other current events.