Our U.S. Women are champions, heroes to adults and children alike, succeeding in reclaiming the world's Iron Throne in the name of the United States. We're number one again because of them. In celebration of their achievement, New York City is going to honor them with the famed ticker-tape parade. Because nothing says "we won the World Cup" like hanging out in Manhattan while strangers throw garbage at you.
Someone suggested doing the parade in Kansas City, before remembering that there's like, one building over four stories in the entire city (looking forward to the totally serious comment about how there are actually SEVEN such buildings).
Lauren Holiday is taking the opportunity to go out a champion, retiring at the ripe-old age of 27.
There are a few Latin phrases I'd refrain from putting on my lower back, including anything with a common translation referencing "seizing." DeAndre Yedlin has no such scruples, and that's (part of) why we love him. R.I.P. Robin Williams.
ECS is having a fancy Foot Golf fundraiser July 25 at Foster Golf Links in Tukwila.
Our old friend Allen Chapman will be the head referee for this weekend's match against the Chicago Fire, assisted by... no, that can't be a real name. Kermit Quisenberry?
Soccer fever is breaking out in Idaho, to the point that they've already restricted travel from Canada and instituted mandatory quarantines for anyone with an "eh."
People are beginning to ask questions about the Traffic Sports-Chuck Blazer situation and how that related to MLS and U.S. Soccer. So to all hitmen reading this space, the order is Tango Foxtrot Delta. You know what to do.
Atlanta United FC revealed its crest yesterday, and it's the emblemification (sic) of a Chester-D.C. lovechild. Which is to say it actually looks pretty decent.
Orlando City has had their hopes set on Javier Hernandez for a while, so it's going to come as a big disappointment when he inevitably signs elsewhere.
The Chicago Fire have sucked for a while. A loss this weekend could put them ten points out of a playoff position with half a season left to play. Many fans have had enough, though maybe the real protest is against having to watch games in Bridgeview.
Prepare yourselves for the inevitability that is Giovani Dos Santos to LA Galaxy. Almost as inevitable as Andrea Pirlo strengthening the MLS hipster quotient (this team will be BIG in Brooklyn.)
The Philadelphia Union will be holding on to Fernando Aristequieta for at least six more months.
One of the only MLS clubs sitting on their hands is Toronto FC, presumably having spent every dime the ownership could muster on half the U.S. National Team and maple leaf onesies.
After a 4000 percent increase in Ask.com searches for Micronesia after their 38-0 loss to Fiji, President Peter Christian probably made a call to the nation's young federation and said "top that." And so they did, with a 46-0 loss to Vanuatu.
Please understand: Major Link Soccer is a daily news fix usually out at 7 a.m. recapping the world of soccer and sometimes other stuff. It's also Open Thread headquarters. So go nuts.
Now I'm off to do fun things. Like lose my phone in Las Vegas so Cristiano Ronaldo will find it and take me to dinner. Or this: