As the season came to a close, I took the time to thoroughly ponder my end of year awards. It’s a complex process not to be passed off as a trivial manner. As a result of all of that thinking, the First Annual Jordan Morris Awards were born. The Jordan Morris Awards are the most prestigious Jordan Morris-related awards in the world. It is an honor and a privilege to be included. Without further ado, I present to you the Jordan Morris awards and their respective recipients.
Jordan Morris of the Year
- Jordan Morris
This was a hard one. There’s so many good options for the recipient of Jordan Morris of the Year. My short list was Cristian Roldan, Dad Marshall, Landon Donovan, and Jordan Morris. Cristian has practically been adopted by the Morris family, Dad scores as many goals as Jordan, and Landon has always been inspired by Jordan’s work for club and country. But, in the end, I felt compelled to go with Jordan Morris. The hair, demeanor, and goals scored are almost exactly like Jordan Morris. Because of this high level of impersonation, I would like to give my congratulations to Jordan Morris on being Jordan Morris of the Year.
Jordan Morris BFF of the Year
- Cristian Roldan
Reasoning is not needed for the recipient of this award. Cristian Roldan is hands down the best best friend forever for Jordan Morris. If they ever stop being BFFs everyone’s hearts will break and the world will probably end. #JorstianMordan
Best Jordan Morris Instagram Account
The choice for Best Jordan Morris Instagram Account was insanely easy. Y’all need to step up your game next season to give this year’s winner, Daily Jordan Morris, an actual competition. Follows from Cristian Roldan, Tyler Miller, Michael Farfan, some of the Morris family, and Jordan Morris himself, along with an endorsement from BFF of the Year, Cristian Roldan, guarantees Daily Jordan Morris the win. If you don’t currently follow Daily Jordan Morris, go do so. @DailyJordanMorris on Instagram and @DailyJMorris on Twitter.
Jordan Morris Fan of the Year
- Bread and Cristian Roldan
This was a tough one. So many people love Jordan that it was impossible for me or my twitter poll to just choose one. So, we’ve got a tie on our hands. Bread and Cristian both exemplify what it means to be a Jordan Morris Fan of the Year. JMFOTY must support Jordan 24/7, must have all the Jordan gear, and it’s suggested that they paint multiple Jordan themed 2-poles and run an award winning Jordan Morris instagram account. Besides the tangible aspects, a JMFOTY must be super rad and be prepared for awkward dancing at all times. With those qualifiers, both Bread and Cristian Roldan are this year’s JMFOTY. Please use the hashtag #JMFOTY16 to give them your congratulations.
Best Use of Exclamation Marks
- Jordan Morris
In literally every single tweet, Jordan uses at least one exclamation mark! The kid is so excited about everything! I mean, it’s great! But it’s a lot of exclamation marks! I appreciate the passion and the laughs I got from going through his timeline! Seriously though, go look through his timeline. It’s hilarious.
Rookie of the Year
- Jordan Morris
You might see this award distributed by some other, less reputable award shows, but this one is the most prestigious. The Rookie of the Year Award is given to the rookie who shows the least concern for his rookie status. From sitting in the front seat of the car during preseason to taking down Dad Marshall in the Sounders Golden Boot standings, your Rookie of the Year is Jordan Morris. It was a wild ride of a rookie year, and I can’t wait to see what Jordan’s second year brings.
Jordan Morris 2-Pole of the Year
- There’s No Place Like Home
Since Jordan Morris is such a likeable dude, there were a lot of JMo themed 2-poles debuted this year. I’m totally inexperienced with 2-poles, but my favorite this year was definitely the Oz themed 2-pole (pictured above). It conveys that Seattle is Jordan’s true home and also that living at home, a topic discussed an excessive amount, is a great fit for Jordan and shouldn’t be something negatively judged. The incorporation of the Space Needle and CenturyLink Field to the classic Oz castle is a nice touch, and the addition of the flying monkeys to signify the traveling support of ECS shouldn’t be overlooked. Overall, this 2-pole is quite solid. I don’t think Jordan would be upset if all of you tried to win this award next season (hint: please make like a billion Jordan themed 2-poles).
And that concludes the First Annual Jordan Morris Awards. There could have been more awards, but that would be silly. These are the not-silly Jordan Morris Awards. They are quite serious. Congratulations to all of the winners!