Guess who's back, back again. Aftermatch Aftermath is back, tell your friends.
Okay yeah, so that doesn't flow. Apparently I am no lyrical maestro, not like Clint Dempsey. Is there anything that man can't do? If you said, "rap," well, you're kind of an asshole, you know that right? Wait, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. It's totally not cool for me to go calling you names right from the beginning of this new season of Aftermatch Aftermath. After all, it's been some months since we sat down and had our little chats.
Allow me to start over then:
How are you?
How was your offseason?
Oh, that's nice. Thank you for telling me about your offseason. I enjoyed hearing about it so very much.
My offseason? Well, I dunno, it's somewhat hard to describe. I mean, I only just awoke from hibernation and made my way down the mountains, so I guess it was hella aight.
Thank you, you're special to me too!
Okay, now that we got that unpleasant obnoxiousness out of the way, let's focus on what really matters: the Seattle Sounders are back! Why, it feels like just two days they played their last game. Goodness, how time flies.
For the Sounders though, they didn't waste any of that time and got right to the task at hand, which was hosting the first leg of a Scotiabank CONCACAF Champions League Quarterfinal matchup against Club América. The result was a quite entertaining 2-2 draw between the reigning SCCL champions and the reigning team of your heart (that's the Sounders, by the way, in case you were confused). Next week Seattle travels to Mexico City with the knowledge that a win puts them through to the next round, a loss doesn't, and another tie forces, well, tiebreakers.
Watching the game though, to be succinct, was nice. It was therapy in the guise of anxious nervousness and bouts of jubilation. I wasn't entirely sure how I'd react to being back in the fold of fandom, but I didn't miss a beat. I was yelling at refs, passive aggressively wishing there weren't so many Club América fans, passive aggressively wishing those uneducated fans seated around me weren't so loud with their bizarre opinions, and hooting and hollering with the best of us.
At this point you probably know what happened, I don't have to recap it for you. But if you don't know what happened and I actually do have to recap it for you, then I'm questioning why this article is your first foray into the happenings of Tuesday's game. Suffice it to say, Sounders scored a goal. Then they gave up one. Then they scored another goal. Then they gave up another one. Game over! Except half time. Except that game was over. I do find it somewhat ironic that the two players to score for Club América, Oribe Peralta and Darwin Quintero, were former Santos Laguna players who have terrorized our previous Championship League dreams.
Along the way Clint Dempsey scored two goals and now has two more all competition goals than any other MLS player this season. Jordan Morris finally made his professional debut and is making money playing soccer instead of plying his wares for free like a sucker. Joevin Jones played well and that was cool. That's it for new faces for Seattle.
The performance that the Sounders put in against one of the best teams in Liga MX brings confidence in Seattle's abilities moving forward this season. But I can see the future as well as I can spell philanthropy, so don't take my word for it. I thought the Sounders would do good stuff last year and they just did sad stuff; sad stuff I thought I'd buried deep down in a locked safe of repression.
But yeah, Sounders good, Club América bad, CONCACAF referees worse, so on and so forth, onward and upward, to infinity and beyond. Next week beckons, the Sounders will answer its call faced with a surmountable insurmountable test.
Never gonna GIF you up
Public Service Announcement: The GIF section of Aftermatch Aftermath can be quite resource intensive when loading. It includes several sizable GIFs for your enjoyment, which while (presumably) enjoyable, can take a while to load. This is especially true when viewing via mobile. I won't say that you should probably experience this on a computer with a decent internet connection, but you should probably try to experience this on a computer with a decent internet connection. Just a good rule of thumb when it comes to AA. Carry on!
Sounders are playing! Gotta get down this mountain.
Ain't nothing gonna stop me from watching the Sounders season start.
Now I'm making really good time.
Nearly there, the offseason is almost over, I can taste it!
It's not just me, everybody is psyched and showing up for this game!
Except this guy probably.
Yeah, oh yeah, this game is starting, the season is back in action!
Nobody expects the Sounders to advance, but we're a wily bunch.
But a little bit of teamwork goes a long way.
By working together as a team, the Sounders can overcome anything.
Or they'll just run every opponent out of town.
By scoring all the goals! And then promptly conceding goals.
But mostly by scoring goals!
Time to head to Mexico City and finish this up!
Until next week, my friends.