Welcome back to week two of Aftermatch Aftermath, a follow-up to week one's universally loved and not-at-all-controversial edition. Reviews were glowing, praising the article for its bold stances, powerful language, and unbiased approach to what was a big moment in the lives of all. The Blue Testament deigned to address lowly AA, citing the article was, "written at a stunning Seventh Grade level of reading comprehension," which is high praise indeed. Even twitter rallied to provide their feedback, loving every minute of their experience.
So rest assured, faithful readers, and know that you're in good hands, even if they are the hands of a seventh grader. Earlier during the most recent weekend, the Seattle Sounders traveled to Sandy, Utah to face the not-fake Real Salt Lake. After a long night where the two teams played board games, told ghost stories around campfires, and stayed up late watching movies, they decided that a soccer match should be played. Indeed a match did occur, one that was filled with hugs, encouragement, and supportive gestures from all parties involved. In all it was an event that was very uplifting, buoyed by rainbows and sunshine.
"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane." - Dick
The Sounders are in last place. Of the four competitive games played so far this season, we've scored the first goal in three of them, two of which we lost. Bizarro world has come and we are left out alone and separated, ridiculed for our hubris, punished for our pride. Detractors line up to take their shots, sensing any form of perceived weakness and pouncing. Some animals, after giving birth to unhealthy offspring, will kill and devour their young. This form of cannibalism takes another form in humanity as we are quick to tear apart those who oppose our views.
The reality of the Sounders 2-1 loss against RSL is that we are now in last place, and even though only 5% of the season has passed, some are writing us off and damning our future prospects, and condemning the Sounders as they navigate this season atop a river of turds.
But that's life, innit? We don't just get what we want when we want it. If that was how life was, we'd be so bored. It's why people resort to going to those fancy islands and hunting other people. How we deal with tragedy separates us. Herman Melville said, "I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing." Take joy in the moments life affords you. Take joy in the absurdity of our world.
Unless this current reality of ours is a weird one, the Sounders will surely win a game this season, someone other than Osvaldo Alonso will be our leading goal scorer, and we'll have a reason to stand up and cheer. Even in the face of adversity, we never waver in our support for Seattle and those who don the rave green. Shoulder to shoulder we march and we sing. "The only people for me are the mad ones," Jack Kerouac wrote, "the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, and mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars." Look how brightly we burn.
Stairway to gifs
It's game time and I'm excited!
I have a good feeling that the Sounders are gonna win this game.
Another injury? And to Friberg?
At least we scored a goal! Hooray!
And then gave up another goal right before halftime. Great.
This game is just, I dunno.
But the Sounders might actually earn their first point!
Welp, welcome to MLS, Tyler Miller.
I came into this match with high hopes.
Almost seems like the Sounders aren't quite ready for this season.
I was excited a few weeks ago, but now?
Our best laid plans are seemingly backfiring.