Sounders vs. NYCFC - Aftermatch Aftermath: Adventures in Seattle

Saturday ushered in a new era, one where the Seattle Sounders have hosted the New York City Football Club, colloquially known as NYCFC. To the joy of some and the dismay of others, the team sometimes referred to as Manchester-City-Lite won the match 2-0, with some saying that the Sounders were too kind as hosts; too giving.

But more important than some sporting event was that this visit sparked the first appearance (in an official capacity at least) of Frank Lampard and Andrea Pirlo, together known as Lampirlo. Or maybe Pirlampart. Eh, those are both kinda dumb. So anyway, Franky and Andy came to Seattle for the first time and got up to all sorts of shenanigans.

The Adventures of Franky and Andy

After arriving in the cleverly named Seatac Airport, the duo decided to travel to the one place Seattle is known for: people throwing fish. After all, the two have seen this event occur on TV every damn time Seattle is being broadcast nationally for some dumb reason.

Following the exciting novelty of watching fish get tossed about, the two continued on their touristy adventures, this time riding the ducks, the novelty of which was lost on the Europeans. I mean, they're just ducks.

But being old and decrepit, Franky and Andy appreciate history, because they lived through it, so they decided to go visit the Seattle Underground, complete with spooky ghosts! I hope they make it out okay!

The two continued on toward the Seattle Center to go to the Space Needle, but instead they managed to get lost along the way, ending up in Capitol Hill during the middle of Pride Week.

After receiving directions from all the lovely people on Capitol Hill, Franky and Andy went the long way toward the Seattle Center, first stopping by the intimidating Fremont Troll. I hope they remembered to pay the toll!

Finally, the Seattle Center! The Space Needle! Franky and Andy made it! But they've wasted so much time wandering, they might miss the match!

Thankfully Franky and Andy didn't miss the match. In fact, they were able to play and win! I hope Franky's hand is okay. Having the ball hit his hand like that sure looks like it hurt!

After helping NYCFC defeat the Sounders, Franky and Andy's adventures in Seattle are over, so they head on a plane back to the Big Apple. At least they have a good view of Mt. Rainier heralding the end of days!

The End

Don't Look a GIF Horse in the Mouth

Look at NYCFC actually playing their old people on turf. I'm impressed.

Hmm, looks like another game where we can't finish. Not sure I can endure watching this.

Uhh, that goal came off his hand. We all saw it.

They can't seriously be considering counting that as a goal.

Wait, they're counting that?

Seriously?

No, seriously?

What is Alan Kelly thinking?!

I'm not surprised. Really, after all we've endured this season, I'm not surprised.

I'm kind of immune to it now.

This game might be what breaks me.

Great goal, Lampard!

If you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic!

This game is sucking my will to live.

And look, another cheap goal allowed.

Thank goodness we provided the dagger and the heart in which to stab said dagger.

Well, everybody have fun during the end of days.