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A very brave person pie-faced Roman Torres on his birthday

We’re amazed anyone lived to tell about this.

Roman Torres, in case you hadn’t noticed, is a very big man. Yes, he appears to be a big cuddly teddy bear — at least in the locker room — but he also doesn’t seem like the kind of guy whose bad side you want to be on.

That didn’t stop is Panamanian teammates from pie-facing him after singing him happy birthday on Monday.

That does not look like the face of a man who is please with what just happened to him. Blas Perez, it would appear, is a much braver person off the field than his on-field antics would suggest.

We can only assume that not wanting to harm his teammates ahead of two very important World Cup qualifiers is the main reason no one was dismembered.

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