Isn't soccer grand? Why, I remember playing soccer as a child, wind whipping my hair majestically as I raced across the pitch, undisciplined youths kicking at my ankles, referees blissfully unaware. It's been a lifelong love affair. You know, I scored a goal once when I raced back to contest a backpass to the opposing goalkeeper, jumping to block his clearance, which knocked the wind out of me as it hit me square in the chest before rolling into the goal. It's a beautiful game.
One of the ways this sport sets itself apart from others is just how drastically different each game can shape up. Over the past couple of days we've been treated to two wildly variant experiences: Saturday's living-art called "Men Play in Water" and Wednesday's classic "The Heartbreak of 40,000." Sit back and view these exhibits in a museum and we'd be brought to tears.
But what if we're already crying?
Listen up, buddy. I'm not gonna tell you what you should think or what you should feel, all I'm gonna do is say that at least in this weird, random world that we live in, we are afforded the opportunity to care about something so much that it forces us to feel. Anger, Sadness, Disappointment, Exasperation, Despair, Resignation, Frustration; these are all emotions that occur as a direct result of caring about the Seattle Sounders.
We insulate ourselves in our protective cocoon to shield us from the horrors the world has to offer, only allowing few vulnerabilities, trusting them to not betray our trusts.
MLS don't care about you. They don't care about the sanctity of your feelings. When Orlando City SC rolled into Seattle and kicked their first ball, it was 10:30 at night for their local fans. When they scored their only goal of the game it was 12:30am the following day. When we felt despair and disgust, they felt that incredible feeling of jubilation, a feeling we've often been afforded to experience here at the expense of others.
MLS sees close games and star players making plays and dollar bills signs pop into their eyes, cash registers ka-ching-ing in their ears.
MLS needs this more than me. Orlando needs this more than me. In 100 years, their city isn't even going to exist. Nobody is going to want to visit Sea World when it's under water, no matter how on-point the name would be at that stage. I live in the finest city in America. They live in Florida. Plus, I kind of have to say nice things about them otherwise I'll get doxxed.
As for me? I'm a Seattle sports fan. I'm used to disappointment. If anything, the Sounders have repeatedly attempted to alter my core sports-beliefs into thinking I have a shot at anything other than mediocrity. They need to know that the key to being a Seattle sports team is to tease your fans with the promise of glory but to never deliver. It keeps them on the hook and keeps the fans coming back. The Mariners know this. The Seahawks know this, though they did screw up once. The Sounders, goodness, what's the deal with all these trophies? What am I supposed to do with all of this success? Gloat? I guess, but we're pretty non-confrontational up here in the PNW.
So, to the Seattle Sounders, thank you for not winning last night. Thank you for allowing me to feel hope only to have it turned to bitterness by the night's end. That's how I was raised in this sports landscape, and that's how I aim to remain.
Winning is for losers anyway. Have fun with that.
A little GIF will make it all go away
I'm ready for another thrilling edition of American Soccer!
I could really use a win here.
Look at that Bruin score!
Hooray for goals!
Another first half lead?
Let’s see how many more we goals we can create!
This is turning into a real back and forth affair.
You know, I just have to take the time to commend this referee for not being overtly awful.
This is the time of the game where we have to absorb all of their best shots.
Oh my goodness. Are we gonna win another game?
Great. Thanks, Orlando. You just ruined a good game.
This season, man, what a ride.
Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on, snare drum. Curtains.