Match Fitness: Jorstian Mordan SZN

I know that I’m not the first person to say this, but I think that this moment between Cristian Roldan and Jordan Morris (pictured above) was precisely when they decided to beat the LA Galaxy. They look confident and self-assured; they look like they genuinely care about each other; they look good. Neither of these guys really brought anything new for this game, but instead went back to some of their strengths.

Cristian’s got a nice looking pair of olive-colored slacks. Olive, or really any similar shade of green, is a great option for adding some color to an outfit without being too loud; it wears like a neutral. To go with the slacks he’s got a textured white short-sleeve shirt that makes a really clean, casual look. Naturally, he finishes the whole thing off with a bag and a gold watch for that final little touch of class. He’s perfect, and you knew he was feeling good as soon as he stepped in the building.

I’m pretty sure that we’ve seen Jordan in this exact outfit before, but I’m not going to hold that against him. The plaid shirt worn open over a graphic tee is a pretty classic Seattle look, and this particular plaid shirt is a pretty good one. The scale of the plaid is a nice medium. It’s big enough to feel chunky and interesting, but not quite big enough to be sort of distracting. Especially paired with the all-black tee, I think the black and white works really well. The tee, by the way, is from Be A Good Person, I believe, although they don’t seem to have this exact version any longer. Sadly this week Jordan’s not visibly sporting any jewelry. I’ll be lighting prayer candles for the next couple weeks and hoping that he picks up some new pieces while he’s with the national team. Jordan does have a bag here, and it even matches Cristian’s pants. I’m choosing to believe that was on purpose.

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Don’t worry! This is NOT the exact same outfit that Raúl wore for the last home game. I’m pretty sure it’s the same shirt, and it’s definitely the same hat, but he wore pants that were pretty similar to Roldan’s instead of the black denim he wore last time. I’ll admit that it’s a little boring for me when there’s so much of the same exact stuff from one week to the next, but at the very least Raúl scores when he wears this hat and shirt. It’s hard to argue with results, so as long as he’s helping the team get the ball in the back of the net, Raúl could wear a clown costume to every game for all I care.

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I think that it’s time for Kim Kee-hee to get a nickname, and I’ve got some ideas. We could call him “Trailmix” or “Sunflower Seed” or “Beef Jerky” or maybe even “Smoked Salmon.” What I’m trying to say is that Kee-hee is an absolute Dad Snack. With one outfit he’s quashed all rumors of a potential move to the Middle East, as this Patagonia tee solidifies his status as a Seattleite. The whole look is super casual, further evidencing his comfort here, so stop saying that he’s going to leave. Please. He pairs the tee with a black-on-black dad cap, a pair of slacks in a really cool, light blue color, and a cool pair of sneakers. This outfit is pretty laid-back and approachable, and yet another entry in the “You Should Be Dressing Like Kim Kee-hee” series.

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Okay, there’s a lot happening here. If I didn’t know better I could be convinced that this is just an image from an Express catalog shoot. I only know for certain that Joevin’s tee is actually from Express, but Nouhou’s shirt is exactly the kind of Euro nightclub shirt for which Express Men is famous, and Jordy’s shirt could absolutely be from there as well. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, it’s just not exactly my jam. Jordy’s shirt, in particular, is, uh, well, interesting. I spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out: 1) what it said, and 2) where it was from. Some of the words, I’m pretty sure, are: world, unavoidable, and thinking. What does that mean?

The shoes here are a lot. Joevin’s got a pair of Retro Jordan 1s, the exact version of I wasn’t quite able to confirm. Do you know which Jordans they are? Depending on exactly what they are, the Jordans could be anything from your standard “fashionable sneakers aren’t cheap” to “limited edition sneakers cost a car payment” levels of expensiveness. Nouhou and Jordy, on the other hand, left no doubt. Opting to set their outfits off with designer sneakers, the two reached for pretty interesting options. Delem’s multi-colored and studded sneakers are a pair of Christian Louboutins, while Nouhou’s got what Cardi B. referred to as “those Balenciagas, the ones that look like socks.” Cost and brand names aren’t the focus or the point of this column, but some times I just have to note when people wear shoes that cost more than several cars that I’ve owned.

There’s a good deal of jewelry on display here, a trend I’ve been noticing throughout the team at large. I’m a fan, especially of this bracelet Jordy’s got on. The only better piece of jewelry from this week that I can think of is the one that Handwalla Bwana is rocking in the video below. I’ll take a quick second here to acknowledge Joevin’s matching Gucci belt and Gucci bag, and Nouhou’s duffle - he’s had the bag all season, I’ve tried multiple times to figure out what it is - they’re all good accessories, guys.

There’s plenty to like here, but I know that it can be better. What did you like? Who do you think could most stand to step up their style?