João Paulo doesn’t care about your feelings and will score ridiculous goals that make you feel good and bad at the same time, and that’s how the Sounders win over Vancouver really got started. Elsewhere Americans in Europe had a big weekend, weird results happened all over the place, and Orlando City are good now.

Seattle/Tacoma

What started so well turned out to be a disappointing end to a profoundly weird season. TACOMA FALLS IN FINAL GAME OF SEASON, LOSES TO RENO 2-1 - Tacoma Defiance

The Seattle Sounders remain in first place in the West after a 3-1 win over Vancouver. THREE TAKEAWAYS: Second-half offensive burst powers Sounders to three points over the Whitecaps | Seattle Sounders FC

Some times it’s nice to see a result from the other side’s perspective. Post Match: Whitecaps drop one in Seattle - Eighty Six Forever

João Paulo is a skilled and powerful wizard. Finding beauty in simplicity, João Paulo proving to be invaluable engine in Seattle Sounders machine | Seattle Sounders FC

MLS/USL

Support is streaming in for out soccer player Collin Martin, who reported a player’s homophobic slur to a referee. His San Diego Loyal teammates forfeited the match in protest. ‘We have a long way to go’ says Collin Martin, target of anti-gay slur - Outsports

Five trades that almost certainly won’t happen, partly because none of them really make sense. 5 hypothetical trade proposals for MLS teams | Greg Seltzer | MLSsoccer.com

Detroit City FC took home the crown. The NISA Fall Tournament final

The two clubs want to use this moment as an opportunity to learn and grow, and make a more welcoming community. Rising Releases Joint Statement with San Diego Loyal

Phoenix Rising FC named assistant coach Blair Gavin interim manager on Saturday. PRFC’s Junior Flemmings will also miss the match vs. LA Galaxy II. Rising FC names Blair Gavin interim manager; Flemmings out vs. LA

Dad fight! Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez, Chris Wondolowski get in shoving match during Cali Clasico fracas | MLSsoccer.com

Steve Zakuani breaks down the events from the weekend in MLS, including raising the idea that it’s time to panic in LA. Columbus Crew still best in the East? LA Galaxy are in big trouble and who's at fault for DC United's illegal substitution? | MLSsoccer.com

An illegal substitution was just salt in the wound for DC as they got slapped by Atlanta. D.C. United humiliated by Atlanta United in 4-0 home debacle - Black And Red United

Orlando City might actually be good? Orlando City vs. New York Red Bulls: Five Takeaways - The Mane Land

I’m not an expert, but I think a broken arm probably makes playing goalkeeper harder. Injury Update: Luis Robles | Inter Miami CF

NWSL/WoSo

NWSL expansion team adds more star power. Becky G joins Angel City FC ownership group - LAG Confidential

As a separate but related point, Tziarra King is legit. Utah Royals Portland Thorns Oct 2020 1-1 - RSL Soapbox

Having a women’s Clasico seems like a good thing for the sport. Barcelona hammer Real Madrid in first ever women’s Clasico - Barca Blaugranes

USA

WSL games are pretty easy to watch, and if you have feelings about the USWNT there are plenty of games that you’ll want to mark on your calendar. WSL games that USWNT fans should watch - Stars and Stripes FC

World

Canada have a bunch of promising young players. Platt’s 3 Points: CanMNT’s 64-man depth chart; Whitecaps, Impact make moves – OneSoccer

Gio Reyna doesn’t have a ton of professional minutes under his belt, but the kid can ball. Match Observations: Gio Reyna and Erling Håland Lead Borussia Dortmund Past Freiburg - Fear The Wall

Presumably Pep Guardiola was honored to share the points with his hero. Match Recap: Leeds United 1-1 Manchester City - Through It All Together

Some times weird things happen, and also Jack Grealish ruins your day. Aston Villa v Liverpool 7-2: Three wins in three league matches - 7500 To Holte

Tammy Abraham, has many friends. Many friends has Tammy Abraham. Tammy Abraham apologizes for non-socially distanced surprise birthday party celebration - We Ain't Got No History

Not much good came out of this game for Barcelona, but Sergino Dest did get a 15 minute run out in his debut. Barcelona vs Sevilla, La Liga: Final Score 1-1, Barça disappoint, drop points at home - Barca Blaugranes

Bayern could have players with MLS connections at both fullback spots as Chris Richards impresses in the RB role. Five observations from Bayern Munich’s insane 4-3 win over Hertha Berlin - Bavarian Football Works

What’s on TV today?

11:30 AM - Nürnberg vs Darmstadt 98 (2.Bundesliga) - ESPN+

2:00 PM - Toluca vs Atletico San Luis (Liga MX) - TUDN

3:00 PM - Clemson vs UAB (NCAA Men’s Soccer) - ESPN+